Grandparent Day Care

As I think about what is good for me, I have to share more about what I do. Yes I have fibromyalgia, migraines and chemical sensitivities, but those doesn’t define me. What does?

I’m a grandma first and foremost during the day. About nine years ago my husband and I decided we would care for our grandbaby to be while our son and his wife worked. When she was born, we fell instantly in love and have a relationship like no other. She has been followed by two other sisters we have cared for since they were born.

When the oldest was small we parked near a day care center and she was so sad for those kids and asked “Don’t they have a grandma and grandpa?” We realized then how lucky they are and how lucky we are to spend so much time together.

We tell them all the time they are smart, beautiful, powerful, talented and can do whatever they want in life. Yet we have to make them mind, teach manners, tutor, and most of all play. One of my friends questioned our decision to care for them because we would have to tell them no if they were there all day. Well yes, we want them to be well-behaved now and grow to be good citizens.

We still spend time together daily, except we see other things like school, sports, academics, church, group activities and friends consuming more and more of their time as they get older. These have been years we have been so grateful for. The bond we have sustains all of us. There are days my husband and I could just mope around and feel sorry for ourselves when we are hurting or not quite up to par. Yet, knowing the girls are counting on us and will be here with smiles (and chaos) gets us up, moving, and enjoying our day.

Having us care for them also allows the girls to spout off about things and share things they may not in a day care situation. The listening ear we can provide and guidance we can offer helps them learn to manage expectations, peer pressure, study, and grow into children who will think things through for themselves. For example: the eldest was so upset because at school there was talk about restricting talking during their lunch period. She was furious and went on and on, louder and louder (she may be an excellent lawyer someday the way she argues). After calming a bit, we discussed other times she could talk to friends, why the change may be necessary, and how to suggest to her class that quieter talking might allow them to continue. Yet another has a boy who “loves” her and won’t leave her alone. Grandpa took charge of that one and encouraged her to speak up, not let him touch her, and if he does, let him have it and let him know he isn’t to mess with her and get a teacher. She is to stand up for herself.

The third granddaughter is with us all day and we couldn’t be more thrilled. We aren’t sure what we will do with ourselves when she goes to school. Who will we watch pbskids with? Who will we take shopping and enjoy watching other older folks smile when they see her or talk with her. Who will we read to, snuggle with, and play games with? It will be an adjustment for us all.

New research suggests that it could be linked to a longer life for the caregivers. We believe it! The joy they bring and the activities we share we know help us stay more active. The study, published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, found that grandparents who helped care for their grandchildren lived an average of five years longer than those who did not.

An international group of researchers also found a similar effect among seniors without grandchildren who cared for kids outside their own family or provided assistance to people in other ways. Older childless adults who provided childcare lived an average of three years longer.

So, Is It Good For Me?

A resounding yes. It’s good for all of us!